In the intro to a play i watched recently
"Ladies and gentlemen, please turn off your cell phones . Two of our cast members have PMS and one was a college kickboxing champion"

Some entity that has been part of my life has gone into a coma. I've been used to it being around, but it's not any more. There are small reminders of what is no longer there - as in the case of being able to see someone in coma, but not interact as you did before.
I am more or less an observer now. I can see the entity laying there, but I cannot bring it to wake up. I can't get other people to change anything. It is out of my control, except the only thing I can do is pull the plug and let the comatose entity die.
Should I do that? If I do I can let go, pick myself up and move on.
If I don't, maybe it can wake up and thrive again.
I should know better than to think that there is a should. But where does that leave me? Waiting. Waiting for Godot.

i say a little prayer for you

happy birthday

yay and double yaaay!!super weekend this is turning out to be..first elwin in an unnaturally virtuous moment treats the rest of the mad bunch of us at Hint..whats better than alcohol and super food and super company?? someone else paying for it *grin*

and kalpana and kunal decided to do surprise weekend visit..(i've mastered the art of looking amazed at things i've known about for weeks..sneaky little me and my sneaky little sources)

[Insert truly arrhythmic happy dance you are blessed to never have witnessed.]

after a lunch that involved too much cheese and too much beer as usual,kalpana figured i need to live up to the dentist rep and dress more like her..read-impeccable if slightly stuffy.i've been wearning different versions of the same blue-jeans-with-everything for more than a decade and a half so i could hardly put up an argument
someone mentions the sale at m&s and her face lights up.uh-oh,this woman's on a mission..the moment i heard SALE, I knew it was going to be an another cheesy, saccharine, flimsily-veiled attempt to sell me a dozen more things i might never use and dont really have the space for, but I couldn’t stop myself. I haplessly go wherever my estrogen leads me. And this – not the first time – it was to a very bad place. out comes the card,and there goes the budget.

was worth an afternoon spent in the company of two people who never fail to make me feel incredible though..will live frugally for the rest of the month

happy holi all

have gotten so used to sedate holis year after year in chennai..rarely do you get mauled by anyone carrying gulal unless you've allowed it willingly.
and in my mad dash to work this morning i forgot i wasnt in sedate ol' madras anymore..barely got out of the front door,freshly washed hair and white shirt of all things..(lack of reason and commonsense attributed to lack of sleep as usual)turned around to lock the door and splat!! water balloon hits me square between the shoulder blades.might have knocked me over if i wasnt leaning against the door anyway.(you see our door doesnt lock right unless you've pitched every ounce of weight in your body against it..mini-workout for the excercise-challenged) mercifully this one was plain water.went back up and changed again.got to work late-again..and spent every little break between appointments playing water holi with syringes nicked from the hospital.zooper fun i say:)!!

and in case you're wondering,there isnt a shred of connection/point to any of my posts today

Like me, you've probably multi-tasked while on the phone. While talking or listening, you've probably organized some stuff at your desk, taken stuff out of your bag,tried desperately to sort out a bad hair day and given up.. I experienced something unusual today while I was on the phone...

Have you ever wondered where your phone was, while you were using it?

Most items of clothing have a label with washing instructions.
This was on the label of a tshirt the little bro gifted me this AM-
" Hand wash separately in bucket. Use gentle suds. Do not beat the sh** out of the garment. Beware of "Dhobi". Never iron directly on plastic prints. Buy more Tantra... support hungry artists."

The 'What If' ball

What with uncertainty, anxiety,wants and needs,fatigue and one thing or another, I've had to devise a coping strategy these past few months - and here it is.In my mind's eye, all my worries-some inane,some reasonably morbid-take on the form of little rough pebbles and rusty nuts and bolts. I pick them up and dump them in my "What If" ball.
The ball has various unique properties, not least of which is its ability to hover at eye height about a foot away from the left side of my head. It is there all the time, sometimes just slipping into my peripheral vision. The other special things about it are that only I can see it and that although it is the size of,say,an apple, its internal volume is infinite. Once placed inside, the contents cannot escape. When I want to examine something, I push my hand through the gooey membrane surface and grab the particular item I am looking for. As I withdraw my hand, the surface, see-through though with slight opacity, closes smoothly again.
There are past "What Ifs", present "What Ifs" and future "What Ifs", and the idea of the ball is to put them all away so that I can live in the here and now. If they're not put away, they cloud what is happening - which is a problem, because it is just starting to get quite interesting.

yes,we have upgraded

Spent lunch hour today shifting rooms..lugging furniture and putting up curtains.me and nisha(thats my room-mate) have managed to cajole/brainwash/coerce mallu landlady to give us a larger(not much,but larger nevertheless)room.this one comes with a far nicer view and a tiny verandah to boot.Now hopefully with the additional 8feet of space we wont be knocking each other over with every move.Added bonus-the neighbours on this side play awesome moojic every AM.God bless Worldspace
Special mention must be made here of the unflappable,eternally placid Nisha.Somehow,i've hit jackpot in the roomie department.nothing frazzles this babe..which is far more than i can say for myself of late.for one,she tolerates my mood swings with a patience that has set her well on the road to sainthood.(examle of a typical conversation when i get home each night-" Nish, you know you could put the laundry away if you… oh, hey, aww, you put the laundry away! And sorry and… are you rolling your eyes at me?")and whats more,she's blessedly domestic..happiest when she's got something to tidy up.incredible to have around during one of my decidedly housework-phobic spells(somebody up there loves me)

prettypleasecanwegoonavacationprettyplease

The thin line between me and crazy

Mon Amis
Pliss bear with me as i ramble on..
You know that feeling when you're going thru' a far worse than typical mid-week crisis..your workload is so far underwater, it should probably sprout gills in order to survive.add to that,the fact that your boss's sense of humour slid off the roof and broke its back,this is fast turning out to be the workweek from hell.
i guess its indicative of your state of mind that you find yourself turning down invitations to movies you've long been dying to watch and the dinners your body is craving(bird flu be damned) .so you bitch and groan and rant and then decide that theres little option but to set aside your little existential crisis for now and put in whatever extra time it takes over the already crazy 12-hour day to catch up with your schedule.and out of career ambition or general confusion you find yourself promising yourself and others that in the interest of work,health,your wallet and the once taut stomach that no longer is,you will limit your alcohol consumption to no more than once a week..and then wonder why that statement was met with smirks and knowing smiles and hysterical giggling..why i say?